“It’s late. What are you doing up?” I ask, taking a sip of my tea. I am met with silence.
“You don’t have to be so moody. I’ve moved on from it.” I say, waving my hand dismissively.
“I meant to tell you something that happened today. A few things, actually.” I chuckled softly, to myself, continuing. “This morning, I met the cutest dog when I stopped at the cafe before work. I thought it was abandoned, because there was no collar or anything. It was just sitting there, curled into a ball outside the door.” I waited for a response, but nothing came.
I continued. “I was halfway to the bus with the dog in my arms before a frantic man ran over, waving his arms while yelling at me to return his dog.” I laughed, reliving the memory.
“I forgot to tell you, I bought another car.” I added softly, as if I was testing out the words as they came out of my mouth.
“Oh really, it’s not a big deal. It didn’t cost much for another one.” I sipped more tea.
I raised my mug, running the label of the tea bag through my fingers. “I tried something different today. I normally get Earl Grey, but your favourite is chamomile.” I took another sip. “It’s really good. I can see why you like it.”
“You know, it’s actually my first time drinking tea since that day—” my voice hitched. I took a steady breath, continuing.
“Wednesday was my first day back at work. Last month, the first Friday, was my first time out of the apartment since I got back from your parents’ house—” My voice broke again.
Sipping more tea to steady myself, I added “And yesterday, I paid you a visit. I left you flowers, but I don’t know if you got them. Most people get roses, but I remember. You said you loved orchids.”
A tear rolled down my cheek, and I wiped it away in a hurry. “Whenever I cried, you used to hug me from behind and ask me ‘What’s wrong, darling?’ and smooth my hair. You always used to call me darling, remember?”
I gently ran a hand through my hair in soft, slow motions, letting out a loud sob. “You promised we would talk when you got back from the office. That you would get me my favourite takeout, and we could watch my favourite movie, that everything would go back to normal. Why can’t things go back to normal?” I yelled, the tea spilling over the edge of the cup.
“Answer me!” I screamed, throwing the cup down with every bit of force I could give.
My eyes brimmed with tears, turning my vision into a kaleidoscope as I glanced down at the floor. “I would give anything. Anything to hear you laugh one last time, to feel your hugs one last time, to kiss your lips one last time, to tell you all the things I forgot to say when you left home angry. I would give anything to tell you I love you one last time.”
I gasped, catching my breath. The tea lay spilled on the wooden flooring of the balcony, the shards of ceramic that once made up the mug long forgotten.
“I love you.” I whispered, unsteadily looking up. “I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.” I said, pursing my lips after.
“You must think I’m crazy. Coming out here every night. Talking to the moon and the stars and the night sky. Talking to anything that will listen while pretending I’m talking to you.”
I inhaled shakily, letting my voice grow louder. “I told you earlier tonight I had moved on. But I haven’t. I’m still hung up over you.”
“Nothing I do can bring you back. Nothing anyone can do. I know.”
“Good night, darling.” My watery eyes shone in the night, reflecting the silver glow above me. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” I pressed a kiss to my palm and blew it towards the moon.
Somehow, I know. I know you got my kiss. And someday, I’ll be there to give one myself. But until then, I’m stuck here and you’re stuck there. Waiting for me on the other side of the moon.